Pain in the Butt

Telephone Cord Colonoscopy

A man walked into a proctologist’s office. “Excuse me,” he said, stepping up gleefully to the reception desk, “do you have any openings available?” Amused by his own pun, he began snickering like a schoolboy. “Sorry,” the receptionist replied coldly, “but you’re the wrong sort of @$$hole.” This exchange repeated itself several times throughout the morning until finally the receptionist, who was neither a licensed medical professional nor a forgiving person in general, gave the man her version of a colonoscopy. Thankfully, soon after the incident, the proctologist did have a small opening available and was free to evacuate twelve feet of telephone cord from the man’s large intestine later that very same afternoon. “All’s well that ends well,” the proctologist joked afterwards, snickering like a schoolboy. The receptionist frowned. Much to her chagrin, she would soon be performing another colorectal procedure…

© 2014 Tony Vicory.

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