A man walked onto the most beautiful ship ever built. His fellow seamen were beyond impressed, but he didn’t give a @#$%. He also didn’t give a %$#@, a #$@% or a $#%@. Sure, the man could have parted with a few @$#%s or even a #%@$; however, he decided to keep those, too, just out of spite. “It’s splendiferous,” he proclaimed instead, relishing the word in his mouth like a succulent candy. “%@#$ it, Horatio, why can’t you swear like the rest of us?!” his shipmates growled angrily. “We’re sailors! It’s what we %@#$ing do!” “I thought we sailed,” Horatio said craftily. “Oh, this ship is exquisite! How superlative!” God, he loved toying with them. Moments later, they toyed with him and soon he found himself sinking towards the bottom of the ocean with an anchor tied around his neck. “%#$@,” he would have said, if not for the seawater.

© 2014 Tony Vicory.