- Prepare 1 popular song from a recently released music album. (Make sure to discard any of its original context; otherwise, the song’s flavor might contain some residual meaning, which, of course, inhibits digestion.)
- With the context removed, begin separating the song’s lyrics from its instrumentals, using either a paring knife or a large meat hammer. (Remember: butchering is an art, not a science, so don’t worry if most of the lyrics don’t survive the process, as long as the kick-@$$ beats remain intact.)
- When ready, add 1+ recording artist(s). Dress in hyper-sexualized clothing — if at all possible, use cut-outs, strategically torn acid wash jeans, and leather chaps — and cake with monster make-up. (Note: in lieu of clothing, nudity may suffice, but this only works if at some point during the video the recording artist relaxes on a cloud or writhes on a cotton candy machine.)
- Combine with 1+ love interest(s), 3+ background dancers, and 5+ randomly selected extras, preferably attractive and in various stages of crying. (Pro-tip: background dancers and extras can be substituted with exotic dancers and skittish-looking woodland creatures, respectively.)
- Mix the ingredients together in a large bowl. (If they do not blend easily, you may need to re-butcher them with 1,000+ jump cuts or re-label this recipe as “experimental.”)
- Once the ingredients are fully integrated, pour the mixture into a pre-heated pressure cooker/nightclub/well-lit industrial warehouse. Allow to simmer for roughly 5 minutes in front of a camera.
- Serve while hot… and then serve again and again and again until completely spoiled.
© 2014 Tony Vicory.