Daylight Saving Time: An Open Letter

Daylight Saving Time

Dear Daylight,

This “Saving Time” has to stop. For too long, the human race has been enabling your carelessness, and now it’s time you learned to regulate your own hours. It’s honestly not that much to ask. You’ve only got two appointments a day — sunrise and sunset — and we think you’ve been around long enough, say, 4.5 billion years, to handle that sort of scheduling by yourself.

Sure, this arrangement may have seemed like a great deal in the past — to lose an hour in the spring only to regain it in the fall — but it’s proven itself to be a faulty investment, Daylight. No one ever really gets that hour back. Instead, it just gets subtracted from the workdays and church services and children’s softball games we miss, because we forgot to wind back our @#$%ing clocks on a busy Saturday night.

And speaking of clocks, let’s not ignore the millions sacrificed on this altar every year, either by flinging or smashing or late afternoon returns to Walmart. Unlike you, they’re reliable timekeepers, Daylight, and they deserve better than this. Much better. Their broken cogs are on your metaphorical hands.

So, please, Daylight, do us a favor and take responsibility. It’s time to be your own hero in this story. It’s time to save yourself.

Homo sapiens

© 2014 Tony Vicory.